Do you Know him?

Hey Peps,
i don noe how to start my sharing and i'm now damm puzzled n pain in my heart...seriously to make myself a better explanation its very hard coz ppl may read while i didnt notice...Who cares! i shall say what troubled in me now! i was totally being left out since tues during the workshop...tues n wed i can forgive n forget coz i thought its juz temporary being left out but i guess its nt...today is thurs where the day i'm very look foward yet turns out a dull sad raining days which refers to me n the weather...morning i came too early n reach bus stop saw amelia...she met grace n leave 1st to ECP...i waited for awhile and everyone came but waited for poh n sean, THE LATE COMERS...haha poh came earlier than sean la but he spent most of his time with edwin n garrick...for me, its abit abit de sort of juz a tickle or something physical touch n tats sick, Who LYK IT MAN UNLESS ITS GAY.... so i lyk hack care la jus stay hyper abit n happy and suddenly its drizzling n we walk in the rain to ECP when sean reach... reach le ECP, mus walk a long long way to mac coz melissa n grace are there...so i hear song n walk walk walk....reach le we sang happy badae song for them as a surprise badae party and the cake is damm creamy so i hate too sweet la then throw away the cake coz mine is the most creamy one...then go mac eat...i go exchange a Fish 0 Filet... eat le use com for awhile lor... then sian sian still mus go back to big splash and play beach...wa lao wat a boring trip i thought at least can rent skate or wat but i guess its nt... reach le we use stick to write words on the sand and take pic la... then rain again, everyone rush to the carl junior tent n hide in the rain...but rain getting bigger so we ran to another sheltar but yok foong accidentely fell down...rauf carry her up to the sheltar but her sea shell fall on the ground...we wait for the rain nt so heavy le then go katong shopping centre... haha saw a lady open the toilet rm n saw a old lady pee haha its damm funny sia!!! reach katong shopping centre, i sleep la coz abit headache and stupid sean knock my head 3times very pain n thought was edwin n gave a big stare then continue sleep... i sleep for 30min plus then order food n eat...then everyone go to auditorium to go for the workshop...yz came too... sad trip sia tis morning but forget it at least can hear sabrina my idol speaker to share but in the end its a guy so sian sia...today all trip is wasted but nvm God's words make me forever proud...once we seated at the auditorium will be the time my mood change...my headache getting worst suddenly and i don feel gd still kana tickle from sean n lip an...i'm happy at last thought poh told them to stop it n lyk start to concern me le...so my mood go gd again for praise n worship but after we went back to our seat...i saw poh n the others sheep mate seating a row with 2empty seats...i keep staring at them throughout the day...their laughter, their joke, their joy...i started getting jealous and angry but nvr ever think of being left out at 1st...the workshop its abt sch outreach and i learn alot la... we leave early then cell decided to go roxy eat... i was damm headache with dull face trying to walk fast to avoid the jealousy between poh huat n my other sheep mate... i rest awhile at roxy when they eating after tat go buy food... eat le feel better nt really tat pain...but my heart started to get painful n painful, puzzled n puzzled... they talk damm lots of laughter n i trying to avoid the jealousy so watch tv or hear song...i started to think Y? y i feel so lonely? is it becoz i walk too fast n nvr really deep on their subject....so i say forget it really try to be with them...then we went to PP so i wanted to buy jolly sandy at 7-11 n told poh but nvr expect tat poh accompany me...sian i cant buy! i really wan to drink tat small alchol drink to make me high n can get hyper to talk crazy with my sheep mate de but cant so no choice bad mood any how buy a drink to drink up... we went to a book store...i standing with them and heard guns name so i started to think they r jus being childish playing shooting... once they say go outside, i sit on the floor n they started to sit too...i heard they say life or death game...once i heard their topic, ans has came to me...my subject is totally differ with them so no point talking with them coz i noe none wat they r chatting...su tieng came to me n ask me am i felt being left out? she ask me tis question my mind has told me in a easier way...wow she's right but i didnt admit infront of her but say maybe, n i doubt tat she noe the ans... when we going home, suddenly poh came closer to me... i feel wierd...i found out tat su tieng told poh abt me being left out...i getting ps and don noe how to face him... he told me at the bus stop tat he sry left me out n really to prove love at me as in sheperd n sheep... at 1st i felt touched but when i think twice in the bus, tis is jus a pity for me trying to make himself nt so convict and nt the true concern in him by saying tat...i ask myself, if su tieng nvr tell poh abt tis, will he ever notice he had left me out heartlessly??? i feel sob in my heart...i had been insecure n unlove from vincent once n after changing sheperd i don wan to get tis feeling back!!! i very scared! seriously my tears gonna drip when i was in the bus... i felt is mispacha boys only poh r the fruitful once tat he control all sec2 sheeps in mispacha teams??? is mispacha boys such a damm failure???i mean no offence but having a curious of having tis ans...i could understand my sheep mates all from changkat n i'm the only one in TKSS plus their relationship in sch r very close how can i jealous a small thing lyk tat... i felt puzzled in my heart and seriously tis is my worst day ever...i lied to poh tat i no work today but actually i had begged the manager tat i had to take a leave at work...i shouldn't beg to take leave...should have work at mac to stay out the misfortune day...i now most worried is poh huat, i really don wan him to felt grief of lefting me out...i will always LOVE YOU POH HUAT PAPA!!!! YOU THE BEST^^
tats all folks,
justin