Do you Know him?

Hey Peps,
yesterday i really feel dead in my shell and seriously y am i so keeping jealousy of edwin n poh tgt? i think its unfair to say tat but i really feel lyk nt in the same rank as edwin tat how poh love the sheep....i noe poh love me but prob is love mus be equally nt who be with longer relationship then mus be get along with better...tis sounds unfair to everyone but i jus don admit infront of them how i feel abt them coz i don wan their mood change becoz of me...they happy i'm fine but juz a little bit of buai song...hao la 1st i say how is my day ba...today i work morning shift which is 6.30am to 11.30am and morning wake up damm early go to work its very tiring n don feel lyk going but i endure coz i wan go camp...while i was working, i saw my senior in sch came to mac t2 n suay suay saw them but lucky nvr saw me^^ its samantha n others sort of all prefects....so i go to kitchen wash tray so no ned bump them coz feel so ps de...after work, i took bus back to tm then took bus to jabez house from there.... i reach jabez house abt 12.40pm ba...i sleep n hear song over there n msg bo liao till the cell come... i feel so sleepy n tired during cell coz its my 1st time to work so early n still ned hear long serment so really endure alot of things nt to fall asleep....as if i own the world lor kana bully all tis...i only with poh united b4 cell start praise n worship n b4 edwin come but once he came poh started to stick with him... tat moment giv me a hate at edwin(maybe) nt really coz i love everyone in cell.... my heart started to felt ache all along with cell and after edwin came my smile turn dull...if anyone in cell got observe la...we b4 tat got some games...lol today poh do game IC so clumsy-_-! then jasmin shared her testimony abt the story i wanna share...something lyk tat ba...after cell, ate tgt as cell and i really wan talk with my sheep but didnt talk much its lyk one question by one question...i keep observe edwin n poh all day and they both always stick tgt de nvr seperate a min... tis make me feel more jealousy if edwin see my post pls arh edwin i nvr hate u de i jus saying out my feeling if nt i may kana depression if i nvr split out my sad feeling...how would i wish if i still vincent sheep i will be more happy... how would i wish i may love durain coz cell love durain alot... i will train myself eat durain till i love it for them lor...after eat le, play game on my hp and garrick felt i being left out and stay by my side yet we two are still quiet so no point but at least i noe he still care for me n i really appreciate...valerie then called me to go talk with poh... i suddenly felt ps lor coz she told poh to do something abt it....see he only care me when ppl called him to do it and tis feeling is the same as last nith when su tienng told him i was left out... i really feel abit extra with them...i very scared, very puzzled, very insecure....if it continue lyk tis how am i going to fellowship with them in future...i am so stress with cell...i cant take it anymore then hide myself n go play piano to do something n keep away with poh coz i don wan ppl pity me... he came to me n my heart pump very hard n scared, he hold my hand n told me can u feel the love from me? i got nth to say but say yes to him... actually i cant feel at all i only can feel normal friends concern me n it so normal...while they playing water happily, i had a urge feeling trying to go home straight and don wish to stay longer but garrick see me alone pei me i feel ease n decided forget it...i said to myself i would nt leave God's word even how much jealousy from poh coz to me its nt worth it!!!! when go to the bus stop, i saw bus10 came n abt to take the bus but couldn't coz i still feel wanted to be with poh when ed nt around n make a confirm guessing... took bus12...when edwin drop the bus, for abt a few stops pass... he touch me jus wanted to get attention at him and as i said my previous post when poh was with me communication with him is jus touch here n there nia...he thought i will lyk it but prob is i getting tired n tired of being close with him... i shall stop here coz i had almost give up hope with him...i no more jealousy n i ignore completely coz wats for? he still the same old kind even i given him a 2nd chance... hey readers if u wan tell him abt tis i had jus post or the ppl i said abt u n u read it n buay song me, go ahead i hack care coz its a fact n nt a lie...
tats all folks,
justin