Do you Know him?

Hey Peps,
had a great talk with my manager....i keep get scolding from my manager of changing schedule...i told them nt to work on sun only and had a condition from them...is tat when sch reopen i still mus work for them....told poh tat every sun i wont work...i don feel good ytd n today...seriously i confirm i feel dryness with God n nt with the cell presense at all...it was told tat today had 1st service to go n it will be share from pas. Yang abt the vision in 2010...i noe its a gd msg but i overslept n late...i feel hopeless at myself...none of each day i had a great slp...i'm hopeless n gd for nothing tat y i keep tio dai ji...had a great quarrel from poh...i noe i'm at fault but prob is....haix shall nt say....i really feel going to faint any moment...i don noe when will i be with cell....when will i cant hang on in the word of God...feel lyk dropping le...i don feel support le....tis cause me to be Emo? work pressure? i keep asking myself! everyday ask myself! y am i so scared to talk to someone? Y am i afraid to know new people? Y am i so insecure in life? Y am i look sissy at things? i don dare to talk...each moment looking at people had a great talk, a feeling to ask them how they start with the conversation...i feel insecure when people had a doubt at me.... went to church simply jus keep hearing songs n nvr talk to anyone...did talk but nt much....wrote to 11ldrs in zone1 abt wishes at 7th floor carpark...its a surprise for them...then we changed to katong there eat....me n ed ordered chicken chop rice...ordered drink n he own me $1.30....then waited very long coz a customer ordered 13packet of western-_-!!! eat le very full then go church for the 3rd service...i get a nap over there...poh jus simply wake me up don wan me to slp...haix then PnW lor...although its our last sun in 2009 but i don seem to get ready to life... today share abt shine...lol don really noe wat the pastor saying...very sleepy so draw on the paper...then got stung afew times from poh...irritating-_-!!! after service, got letter from ldrs...very touched haha^^ then took whole green zone1 pics...wow 2day sure a great family pics...then go subway eat...lol super emo seriously wat a worst day ever...ldrs aks me wat happen to me jus to say i'm tired lor actually i feel myself strange in cell le...really happy today only edwin keep approaching me n talk to me...i don care is any1 asking him to talk to me or didnt but really happy tat i still hav someone know i'm there...my biggest hope is to talk to poh...i jus don noe y? coz he is my biggest fear to talk to him...actually if anyone sheperds me i jus feel scared to talk to the person... reach home, i stare at the gift from my ldrs which had a pic la....stare for 30min without blinking...amazing! Memories jus came to me....the knowledge from them tat had been teaching me.... i feel happy with them but jus don noe how to express the really me with them jus lyk with Janet n shu hui those kind of friendly talk... i found my ans which is sound abit sinful but tis is wat really me...if i could talk to a person well, there mus be bad words in me....bad attitude toking....lol it sounds bad bad boi of me....i really hope there is someone in cell who is an angel to giv me a helping hand to hold me on...then watch Singapore Idol final show...winner is Sezairi...Well Done:) then had a great slp n tmr work...
tats all folks,
justin